


Refrain ~Bokutachi No Monogatari~

by zeon_avalanthe



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-10-17 11:45:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10593354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeon_avalanthe/pseuds/zeon_avalanthe
Summary: Sho had been living a normal college life with his roommate slash bestfriend, Masaki. Until he found out the dark secret lies behind those smiles.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Imported from my LJ account. Unbeta-ed.
> 
> Title was inspired by Arashi's song of the same title: Refrain.

_“What’s your name ?”_  
  
 _“...”_  
  
 _“Hey, don’t just doodle there and stare at me. I’m asking you, what’s your name ?”_  
  
 _“M-y na-me ?”_  
  
 _“Yes. Your name.”_  
  
 _“Shin. Yeah, I think so. My name is Shin.”_  
  
 _“Well, then Shin, I’m Ninomiya Kazunari and from now on, you are free from the bound of this chain wrapped around your wrists. You are free to do whatever you wanted to do and no one will be able to stop you.”_  
  
 _“I’m- free ?!”_  
  
 _“Yes. You are free.”_  
  
***  
  
“Sho-chaaaa~n !!”  
  
  
The called boy groaned at the all too familiar call and pulled his blanket further above his head. This is a freaking Sunday and he doesn’t want his perfect day to be ruined by this ball of energy too early in the morning. Nope. He will just feigned an ignorance and pretend to not hear that annoying call which almost ripped his ears.  
  
“Sho-chaaan~ I know you’re awake already ! So stop pretending and quickly rise and shine ! Look ! The sun is already up in the sky !”  
  
Sho swore that it’s most probably not even 7 yet, and it’s not until 3 hours later for him to be separated from his oh-so-comfortable bed, but his assaulter is just too persistent and now he found it hard to breathe because the ruiner of his day decided that it was fun to sit on top of him while he tried to enjoy his beautiful sleep. Really, did he think he’s as light as a cat or something ?!  
  
“Guah ! I’m up, I’m up ! Now get off of me before I die from the lack of air !” He yelled with as many force he could from his current suffocated state.  
  
But it seems that this little brat still has the nerve because instead of getting off, he grinned like a cat before bouncing up and down on top of him. It’s not after Sho jumped from his position that the boy got off and scurried away to a far corner of his room, still with that stupid grin on his face.  
  
“Get ready soon ! We will go and get some breakfast outside today !”  
  
The boy send him a wink before dashing out of the room just a little bit faster before a pillow hit the wall where he just stood not too long ago. And now Sho, with the last remnants of sleep flew at the same time he threw the poor pillow, finding himself with no other option but to leave his beloved bed and get ready before the small trouble-maker return and decided to make his day any worse than it already is.  
  
Well, not that it wasn’t less interesting though.  
  
***  
  
His name is Sakurai Sho and is a third year student at Keio University, majoring in business. The other guy who just woke him up rudely is named Aiba Masaki. He’s younger by eleven months from Sho, and also his grademate at University. They’ve met a couple of years ago, when Sho was still in his second year of high school and Masaki came as a transfer student.  
  
As the class representative, Sho was assigned as Masaki’s guide back in high school, and the taller boy quickly became attached to Sho. At first Sho felt bothered by his air-headedness and always told him to stay away. Masaki and Sho are a complete opposite after all. Masaki is friendly and bubbly and sometimes clumsy and always eager, while Sho is more reserved and composed. Sho doesn’t remember when his ice-wall broke because when he realized it, they’re already bestfriends. They’re even sharing a flat now. Sho’s house is rather far from the University, so Masaki offered to share his flat with him since it’s closer.  
  
And from then on, Sho’s days are filled with Masaki’s constant giggles and unexpectedness. It’s like he’s living a jet-coaster life with Masaki around. But he can’t deny that life is much more fun after Masaki appeared in his life. He brought out the many hidden emotions within Sho and he found himself slowly loosing up as times goes.  
  
Not that Sho hates it, on the contrary, Sho pretty much is content with his current lifestyle with Masaki now.  
  
“I got another red from Matsumoto-sensei. Really, that man could be really scary when he wants to. And since he already has a stoic face by nature, it’s so much scarier.” The taller yet younger boy complained as he stuffed yet another piece of waffle into his mouth. “I wish to be taught by Ohno-sensei again this year. Too bad he has to do that exhibition this semester. The man is much more relaxed than his protege, I like him.”  
  
Sho could only shook his head in disbelief as he drink into his coffee.  
  
“It’s your own fault for not doing the assignment, Masaki. You know Matsumoto-sensei is strict, yet you think your Dragon Quest was more important than his assignment.” He teased the other man who pouted in response.  
  
“But Dragon Quest is important !” Masaki exclaimed. “Thanks to that, I finally get the top score, you know !” He added with a grin, totally forgetting his complaints toward the scary Matsumoto-sensei.  
  
“Anyway, what are your plans for today ?” Masaki asked as he ate –or rather gulped- the waffle into his mouth.  
  
“I planned to stay on bed until late in the afternoon and then do my assignments later on after some brunch. But thanks to a certain person, my plans were all ruined.” Sho said sarcastically as he too, ate a piece of his waffle.  
  
“I was saving you from a day of boredom, Sho, you should be grateful.” Masaki pointed his fork at him with a smug look. “I have a better idea though, let’s go to that newly-opened amusement park in Chiba !”  
  
“Now ?” Sho almost choked on his waffle. “But Masaki, we haven’t prepared anything for the trip ? Chiba is by no means a close place, you know.”  
  
“You worry too much, Sho-chan.” Masaki shook his head. “And we don’t need you and your tight schedule just to go to an amusement park. Let loose and simply enjoy the thrill of a journey ! Or else you’ll get old faster.”  
  
Sho throws a sharp glance at the other boy who is smirking his way before he sighed in defeat.  
  
“Fine, fine. Let’s do it your way.”  
  
“Yeay ! You’re the best, Sho-chan !” Masaki exclaimed before stuffing the last bit of waffles into his mouth and drink down his milk. “Hurry and finish your breakfast, Sho-chan ! The day won’t last forever !”  
  
***  
  
It’s the middle of the night when Sho was awoken by the urge to use the toilet. Finding his way to the bathroom sleepily, Sho quickly finished his business before stumbling back into his bedroom. Half-way through it, he heard some footsteps from the livingroom and frown, wondering if Masaki has yet to sleep. After all, he was still whining at his mountain of assignments when Sho called the day off.  
  
“Masaki ? Is that you ?” He called as he reached the dark livingroom. There, he found a figure by the doorway, fully clothed and by no mistake is Masaki. “Are you going somewhere ? At this hour ?” He peeked at the wall clock to make sure the time.  
  
“Yes, Sho-chan. I just needed something.” Masaki told him softly, his voice strangely calm. “Just go back to sleep. I’ll be back before you know it.”  
  
And so Sho did as he was told. He gave the man a nod before walking back to his bedroom and went back to sleep, already forgetting the incident in a second.


	2. Chapter 2

_“This is where you will be living at from now on, Shin.”_  
  
 _Shin looked around the house –or rather mansion- in awe._  
  
 _“May I really, Master ?”_  
  
 _The man laughed at Shin’s innocent question while ruffling his hair affectionately._  
  
 _“Yes, you may, Shin.”_  
  
 _“Thank you very much, Ninomiya-sama !”_  
  
***  
  
“You should’ve helped me, Sho-chan. You’re done with yours anyway.” Masaki sighed tiredly as he packed the last of his assignments inside his bag. “Thanks to you, I didn’t slept a wink last night, doing this stupid assignments.”  
  
“You could’ve done them since last week.” Sho gave the man a shrug. “Not my fault you decided to put everything until the last moment.”  
  
“Still..” Masaki raised his hand dramatically. “You could’ve at least accompany me last night.”  
  
“I need my beauty sleep, thank you very much.” Sho commented with a flat tone before returning to his newspaper.  
  
“Are you aiming to be a news-caster, Sho-chan ? I almost never see you without a newspaper every morning.” Masaki prompted as he poured a milk to his cereal.  
  
“I’m just trying to keep up with the world- Listen, Masaki ! Someone from our neighbourhood was found dead last night !” Sho suddenly informed the other man after reading one of the hightlight news.  
  
“Who ? Let me see, let me see !” Masaki jumped from behind the kitchen counter and read the news Sho just mentioned. “You’re right ! Hey ! Isn’t that the bakery we often visit ?”  
  
“Yeah.” Sho nodded in affirmation. “They said the owner of that bakery commited suicide last night and jumped from the rooftop of his own shop.”  
  
“Too bad. I love their breads. Though the owner was slightly annoying.” The taller man said in pity as he returned to his cereal and ate them without much spirit. “I feel like my day is just ruined. Can I skip today’s classes, Sho-chan ?”  
  
“You can’t.” Sho answered with a clipped note, indicating Masaki that he has no room to argue. “I don’t want to feed the lecturers your sad excuses anymore, Masaki. And you have to meet your attendance record or else you won’t pass this semester.”  
  
Masaki sighed dejectedly at Sho’s words.  
  
“And I think today won’t get any worse, too.”  
  
***  
  
The boy figure clad in black put back his phone into his pocket after replying to the message he just received. Looking ahead, he held his head high as he approached the wooden door on the other side of the hallway. A bulky man he know working as the bodyguard opened the door for him without a question and he simply walked past him to enter the room.  
  
“Shin. You’re here.” A man, around his thirties and wearing a neat black suit, is waiting for him as he leaned back on his chair leisurely. “How was it ?”  
  
“Is there even any need to ask, Master ?” He asked the man back as he gave a bow politely. “I’m sure you’ve pretty much learnt about it.”  
  
“I still want to hear your version though.” The man pushed, a sly grin on his thin lips.  
  
“Of course.” The boy gave the man another bow. “But I only spoke to the man accordingly, and after being shoved with the truth, it seems that he simply could not take it anymore and took the jump.”  
  
  
“That’s my boy.” A satisfied smile is spreaded on the man’s lips. “You may leave now. I will call you again.”  
  
“Very well, Master.” He bowed again before turning his body and proceeding to leave.  
  
“By the way, I saw you the other day with your, _friend_.”  
  
The man suddenly spoke and Shin halted in his steps.  
  
“Is it fun ? Playing friends and all ?”  
  
He swallowed before answering: “It is better rather than to do nothing in my free times.”  
  
“I see.” The man commented curtly, voice contemplating. “Just make sure you don’t get too into your game, don’t wanna my best boy being drowned in his own helplessness after all.”  
  
Shin closes his eyes as the man’s voice lingered in the silent room.  
  
“I understand, Ninomiya-sama.”  
  
***  
  
“Hey, Masaki ! Wanna go to that hotspring you like this weekend ? I heard they’re doing some half-price promotion this week !” Sho informed excitedly as soon as he burst inside their shared flat.  
  
“Hnn ? What’s the matter, Sho-chan ? You sounded, far too excited than usual. Something good happen ?” Masaki tilted his head, eyes wide in anticipation.  
  
“You can say that.” Sho grinned widely. “I had dinner with my parents last night, right ? It’s just, that it’d been so long since we eat together on the same table.”  
  
“Good for you.” Masaki commented shortly before returning his focus back to the television.  
  
A frown appearead on Sho’s head. It is uncharacteristically of Masaki to be this quiet and spiritless.  
  
“Masaki, are you okay ? Are you having some fever again ?” Sho scooted closer to where Masaki sat and feel his temperature.  
  
Between the two of them, despite usually being so hyper and noisy, Masaki tend to get sick more easily. And to add it up, he also suffered from a rather bad case of hayfever every year. But hayfever season is over and the weather had been nice lately, so it is unlikely for Masaki to get sick now.  
  
“I’m fine, Sho-chan.” Masaki gave a small smile. “Just a little tired. You know that I had some rough nights lately, what with my pile of assignments, so I had to cut my sleep time drastically.”  
  
Sho put back a few strand of Masaki’s hair behind his ear concernedly. “How about catching some sleep now ? Exam week is over and we don’t have any assignments to do now.”  
  
“But it’s midday~” Masaki whined as he leaned into Sho’s touch. “I can’t sleep in the middle of the day and you know it Sho !”  
  
Sho creased his forehead for a moment before an idea came to him.  
  
“I know the exact thing which will put you to sleep immediately.”  
  
Without saying any other word, Sho left the room and leaving Masaki confused on the couch. Some minutes later, he returned with Masaki’s blanket and favourite dog plushie.  
  
“Here.” He handed the two things into Masaki’s hand as he slumped down on the couch next on Masaki. “Let’s watch some news !” Sho picked up the remote and browse through the channels until he found the news channel.  
  
“Ee~h ? But news are boring !” Masaki whined childishly, but cuddle deeper into his blanket.  
  
“And it never failed to make you sleep every single time.” Sho smiled contentedly at seeing his flatmate’s eyes drooping from trying to focus on the television before turning his eyes to watch the news himself.  
  
 _‘A man in his late thirty was just found dead in his apartment this prior morning. The police found an empty bottle of sleeping pill lied next to his still body. There were no traces of force-breaking. As of now, the police stated that it was a suicide. Further closure will be revealed when the autopsy result is out.’_  
  
“People gave up easily nowadays, and thought that death is the best option.” Sho sighed quietly as to not wake up the other guy. “But really, there are too many suicide cases as of lately. Is suicide a new trend ?”


	3. Chapter 3

_“Ninomiya-sama, what is it that Inohara-kun just did ?”_  
  
 _Shin looked up to his Master, face still contorted in horror. He just saw a scene in which the usually kind and always-smiling man killed a man without mercy, eyes cold and empty._  
  
 _“That, is what you will be doing when you grow up, Shin.” Ninomiya told him lightly, as if telling Shin that killing is the same as walking._  
  
 _“I will be a murderer ?” Shin looked up in surprise, face pale._  
  
 _“Now stop phrasing it that way.” Ninomiya scolded him slightly. “The world we’re living, Shin, is a filthy place filled by people with greed and dark intentions. It’s our duty to clean the darkness within the world by erasing those people with bad intentions.”_  
  
 _“By killing them ?” Shin prompted again, still uncertain._  
  
 _“I say we’re doing this world a favour by erasing some unnecessary beings. We’re doing a good thing, Shin, it’s something you should be proud of.” Ninomiya pointed a finger at Shin, in which the young boy simply nodded his head in return._  
  
 _“I understand, Ninomiya-sama.”_  
  
***  
  
“Uwaaah~ Hotspring is the best !” Masaki sighed contentedly as he relaxed inside the tub.  
  
“You surely love hotspring, eh ?” Sho sat next to Masaki and watch his friend making an interesting face.  
  
“Yepp ! I love it !” Masaki throw him a wide grin before splashing some water into his own face. “Say, Sho-chan, how about dropping by that sushi store I told you about ? Kazama-pon invited me this morning and he also told me they had a karaoke room upstairs, so we could have fun all night long !”  
  
Sho let out a chuckle at the childish remark the other boy make. “Poor Kazama-kun. For all I know, you treated him more like a personal manager rather than a friend, really.”  
  
“Hey, that’s rude !” Masaki pouted in an angry attempt. “It’s Kazama-pon who always offered to drive and all. I never asked him to do anything for me.”  
  
“I know, I know.” Sho laughed crisply. He know just how much Kazama-kun adored Masaki and would do anything for him. “He even went as far as giving me a three-hours-long lecture as to what I must and musn’t do before he agreed to let me share a room with you. Tell me, is he your Mother or something ?”  
  
“He’s just a worry-wart.” Masaki declared airily. “He had always been since a long time ago, so instead of fussing over his fussiness, I decided to enjoy the spoiling to the fullest.” A wide grin is spreaded on Masaki’s lips and Sho simply laugh at that.  
  
“Well, shall I partake his hospitality too then ? It’d been so long since I really had fun.” Sho said while giving the other man a smile.  
  
“Yeay ! Let’s karaoke-ing all night long !”  
  
***  
  
“The Master is calling for you tonight.”  
  
The taller man stopped in his track before turning back to face the other man.  
  
“Does it have to be tonight ? I have something to do.”  
  
“You know him, Shin. He doesn’t accept a ‘No’ to his order.”  
  
Shin could only sigh as he nodded his head. “I understand. I will go to his place tonight.”  
  
“Hey, Shin.”  
  
“Hmm ?”  
  
The shorter guy hesitated before he spoke, “Don’t you think that Ninomiya-sama has been giving you far too many orders lately ? I know you’re his favourite, but still...”  
  
“Don’t worry. He has planned it all out, I believe.” Shin answered curtly.  
  
“But I’m worried.” The shorter guy frowned. “Especially now.”  
  
“Shun...” Shin gave out a long sigh. “I know how you feel, I really do. But, let’s stop this talk okay ? Let’s just, go along with the flow, for now.”  
  
“I know it would’ve been better if you never met that man.” Shun stated, voice accussing. “You’ve changed since then.”  
  
“I know.” Shin replied serenely. “I thought so, too. But strangely enough, I don’t think that meeting him is a mistake after all.”  
  
Both of them said nothing as the two of them resumed their walk.  
  
“You know, Shun, whenever I’m with him, my vision of the world change. It’s as if, the truth I lingered upon all this time was but a delusion of my own mind. And I know that it’s not right, that being with him is corrupting me, but for some reason, I just can’t picture living a life without him around me. I just, can’t.” Shin confessed, shoulder slumped and face scrunched up.  
  
“Shin...” Shun called out in concern. “Should I- ?”  
  
“No !” Shin exclaimed almost immediately. “Just, don’t. I’m fine, for the time being.”  
  
“I’m fine, so, just let it off, okay ?”  
  
***  
  
“Masaki ! Hey, Masaki ! Masaki !”  
  
Masaki slowly lift up his sleepy head at the constant call of his name and look out for his caller.  
  
“Sho-chan ?” He called out sleepily. “What’s wrong ?”  
  
“So you find my class convenient for a little nap, Aiba-san ?”  
  
At the cold and deep voice, Masaki’s sleepiness suddenly gone in a moment as he straightened his body and meet the scary face of his lecturer.  
  
“Matsumoto-sensei.” He laughed nervously. “How are you doing, Sir ?”  
  
A disapproving look is sent his way as Matsumoto-sensei squinted his eyes at his seemingly stupid and out-of-place question.  
  
“My desk. 4 p.m. sharp.” And the scary lecturer returned to the front of the class.  
  
Masaki let out a defeated sigh as he slumped on his seat.  
  
“You could’ve warned me, Sho-chan !” He whispered angrily at his seatmate.  
  
“I tried ! But you were too deep in your sleep to notice me !” Sho defended himself in the same hushed tone.  
  
“I’m doomed.” Masaki sighed again dramatically. “Literally.”  
  
Sho could only sent him a look of sympathy.  
  
“I will wait for you, okay ? We will go home together after you see Matsumoto-sensei.” Sho offered, patting his back comfortingly as he said so.  
  
“It’s okay, Sho-chan. You can go home first.” Masaki smiled weakly. “I mean, I don’t know how long Matsumoto-sensei will lecture me, right ?”  
  
“Are you sure ?” Sho asked him, face hesitating.  
  
“I’m sure.” Masaki assured him. “Let’s grab some lunch first. I need to refill my energy before facing the monster.” He then stood up while packing his stationery, and it was then Sho realized that the class is over and Matsumoto-sensei had left already.  
  
“Alright.” Sho stood up as well. “Let’s order that karaage you love. My treat.”  
  
“Yeay, Sho-chan ! You’re the best !”  
  
***  
  
Sho put down his pen and stretch his cramped neck. He looked up to find that it’s almost midnight already. Sho frowned at that. He had finished three of his assignments, fixed himself a dinner of a hot cup ramen (Masaki has always been in charge of cooking, after the two of them found out that Sho couldn’t cook to save himself), watching that drama Masaki loves, reading some book and finishing the rest of his assignments, but Masaki still hasn’t come home and Sho is getting worried, especially with those recent suicide cases happening around. Sho knows Masaki is not the type who will do that kind of thing, but that doesn’t help him to be at ease. And for sure, Matsumoto-sensei won’t hold Masaki this long, right ?  
  
Sho is about to pick his phone and try to call Masaki again when he heard the front door being opened. Sho rushed to the door to find a tired-looking Masaki trying to change his shoes into his indoor-slippers.  
  
“Masaki.” He called out.  
  
Masaki looked up and gave Sho a smile.  
  
“Sho-chan. I thought you’re asleep already.” He told him softly as he’s finally freed from his shoes.  
  
“I was waiting for you.” Sho told him as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
“You don’t have to, you know.” Masaki chuckled lowly as the two of them walked inside the house.  
  
“I was worried.” Sho argued. “It’s this late but you’re not home yet. I tried to call but your number was not even active.”  
  
“Sorry. My phone died on me.” Masaki sighed as he entered his bedroom to change his clothes. “Matsumoto-sensei told me to write an essay which I have to hand today. He told me he will be waiting until midnight and I was forced to holed myself up in the library to do that stupid essay.”  
  
Sho simply nodded as he waited for Masaki outside his room when the said guy erupted back from inside the bedroom.  
  
“I’m hungry. Have you eaten something, Sho-chan ?” Masaki asked as he rubbed his stomach, already in his dog-printed pajamas now.  
  
“Hn.” Sho answered half-heartedly. “I had some cup ramen.”  
  
“Really ?” Masaki said in an amused tone. “I know you couldn’t cook but you still can order some deliveries, you know.”  
  
Sho shrugged, neither agreeing nor disagreeing Masaki’s words.  
  
“I guess I’ll have cup ramen, too.” Masaki announced as he opened the top drawer at the kitchen, taking one cup ramen. “Too lazy to cook something proper. I really need that sleep.”  
  
Sho followed Masaki to the livingroom where the taller guy turned on the television to watch some late variety show. The man start slurping at his ramen while focusing on the show, laughing at the stupid remarks in between.  
  
“You don’t have to accompany me, Sho-chan. You can go to sleep now, you know.” Masaki shook his head as he disposed the empty cup to the trashbin before pulling out a water bottle from inside the fridge. “Well, I’m done anyway so I guess that doesn’t matter. Shall we sleep now ? I’m all sweaty but I can’t be bothered by it now. I guess I’ll just take some quick shower in the morning.”  
  
Sho smiled at Masaki’s remarks before nodding his head in agreement.  
  
“Yeah, let’s just sleep now. Everything else can wait for tomorrow.”


	4. Chapter 4

_“How was it, my boy ?”_  
  
 _Shin looked up, eyes filled with tears._  
  
 _“Ninomiya-sama, I’m sorry.”_  
  
 _“What are you apologizing for ?” Ninomiya asked him softly, urging the boy to come closer._  
  
 _“I know you told me that we should be proud of this thing we’re doing, but I still feel bad when I killed someone.” Shin confessed as he crouched down in front of Ninomiya, face buried on his lap._  
  
 _“I see.” Ninomiya stroke his hair soothingly. “But you see, Shin. There are many ways to erase them without the need to actually kill them yourselves. Perhaps that way, you will feel a little better ?”_  
  
 _“There is ?” Shin looked up with his huge eyes._  
  
 _“Yes, there is, my son.”_  
  
 _\---_  
  
 _“You were right, Ninomiya-sama. All I did was speak, and she killed herself without I have to even touch her.” Shin told the man eagerly._  
  
 _“And how do you feel about it ?” Ninomiya asked him._  
  
 _“I still feel a little bad for her, but certainly not as bad as when I killed them myself !” Shin gave out a smile. “I felt much better like this, Master.”_  
  
 _“Now that’s my boy. You know, Shin, you will be the best of the best one day.” Ninomiya gave him a proud smile._  
  
 _“I will ?” Shin looked up, face sparkling in pure delight._  
  
 _“Of course you will.” Ninomiya nodded his head. “I will make sure you will.”_  
  
***  
  
Sho frown in concern at the shivering figure on the bed. He gave out a deep sigh as he wrung the small towel and placed it back at Masaki’s burning forehead. Masaki had been sick since yesterday, and it was nothing new, especially now that the weather is colder, but his temperature kept on rising that it worries Sho more and more.  
  
“Masaki, if your fever hasn’t decreased by the morning, let’s go to the hospital okay ?” He told more than asked the sick boy worriedly, caressing his damp hair in the process.  
  
Masaki only smiled at his words. “I will be fine, Sho-chan. I’m sorry for making you worried again.”  
  
Sho just shook his head. “You want to eat something ? I can re-heat the soup Kazama-kun made this afternoon.”  
  
Masaki shook his head weakly. “I’m not hungry, Sho-chan.”  
  
“But you need to eat something !” Sho exclaimed softly. Masaki hadn’t really eaten anything since this morning but a glass of honey-milk. “Do you want me to make you some milk again then ?”  
  
“I’m not hungry, Sho-chan.” Masaki said again, sighing as he snuggled deeper into the many layer of blankets Sho wrapped around him. “You must have been tired. Just go to sleep, Sho-chan. I will be fine.”  
  
“But-“ Sho is ready to argue, but Masaki sent him a sharp look, as sharp as he could with his current weakened condition.  
  
“What if you get sick too, Sho ? Who’s going to take care of us then ?” Masaki shot him a weak glare, before his face softened. “Just sleep. I will be fine, I promise.”  
  
“Okay.” Sho agreed in the end, despite reluctantly. “Just call me if you need anything, okay ? Don’t worry about waking me up or something.”  
  
“I will.” Masaki assured him with a smile, and Sho finally retreated back to his chamber.  
  
As soon as his back disappeared, Masaki’s smile faltered before he fished out his phone from under the blanket. Masaki read the message he just received again carefully, slightly wishing he can just ignore the mail before sighing in defeat.  
  
“I’m sorry, Sho.” He whispered sadly as he silently rose from his bed, eyes looking longingly at his bedside drawer where a picture of him and Sho smiling is placed.  
  
***  
  
A cold breeze is caressing Matsuoka’s face softly as he stood by himself on the balcony. He had always love the evening’s wind, it had always had that soothing effect on him, effectively erasing the fatigue and stresses away.  
  
Matsuoka is brought back from his silent reverie when he heard the door of his apartment is opened. Matsuoka has this habit of not locking his door up before he slept because there would usually some people who will pay him some late-night visit, but he doesn’t remember inviting someone tonight, nor he received any news that someone will be dropping by too.  
  
“Who’s that ?” He asked, voice half-warned.  
  
“Senpai ? It’s me.” A familiar voice came to his ear and Matsuoka was relieved to see someone he know erupting from the dark.  
  
“It’s you.” He said non-chalantly as he turned back around and lit a cigarette. “What’s the matter ? Did you fight with your friend or something ?”  
  
“It’s nothing like that, Senpai.” The other man chuckled, and Matsuoka could hear the tremble in his voice.  
  
“Hey, are you okay ? You don’t sound so good.” Matsuoka faced the guy and asked worriedly.  
  
“I’m fine, Senpai.” The man simply shrugged him off. “There is, there is this something I need to consult with you.”  
  
“What is it ?” Matsuoka asked as he turned off his cigarette and lead the man inside before closing the window to his balcony. “You want to drink something ?”  
  
The man shook his head and Matsuoka simply nodded as he picked himself some beer. He gulped the drink down before taking a seat on the couch, motioning the other guy to do the same.  
  
“So, what is it you want to consult with me about ?” Matsuoka asked in the end.  
  
“Say, Senpai, how do you view the world ?”  
  
***  
  
Sho is awoken by the impatient knocking on the door. He scrunched his eyes and took a peek at his clock to see that it’s still half past seven in the morning. He made his way out of the bed sleepily as the knocking kept getting noisier to yell at this uninvited guest. Before he get to the front door, he peeked at his flatmate’s room to find Masaki sleeping soundly and sigh in relief. The man needed the rest and he was afraid the noise will wake him up from his slumber.  
  
Making a quick steps to the front door, Sho opened it only to be welcomed by the anxious face of his Uncle.  
  
“Uncle ! What brought you here early in the morning ?!” Sho asked in surprise as he inspected his Uncle who is already dressed up.  
  
“Say, Sho, is your flatmate home ?” His Uncle asked instead as he invited himself in.  
  
“Yeah. He’s still sleeping.” Sho answered, still bewildered by the sudden visit. “Do you need something from Masaki ? If you do, can it wait ? Masaki is down with a fever and I don’t really want to wake him up.”  
  
“Unfortunately Sho,” His Uncle told him apologetically. “This can’t wait. Someone has been murdered around here last night.”  
  
Sho widened his eyes in surprise. “Who is it ? And how come it has anything to do with Masaki ?”  
  
“Let’s talk inside, okay ?” His Uncle ushered him as he closed the door behind him and pushed Sho to the livingroom. “I guess I will just tell you first while waiting for Masaki-kun to wake up. After all, I know how bad it could be for him when he’s having a cold.” He added as he took off his coat, face sympathetic.  
  
“Well, as you have probably guess, I came here to represent the police, Sho. We heard a report that someone has been killed last night. The witness told us that they saw some young men on their twenty came out from the victim’s room around the time of his death. They didn’t see his face because it was dark and they were slightly drunk.” His Uncle started.  
  
  
“And what does it have to do with Masaki ? He’s asleep all night.” Sho asked again, voice impatient.  
  
“With only that vague statement, we could not really think of who it might be, really. For all we know, the drunk man might have imagined it all. But when we searched around the house of the victim, we found something that doesn’t belong to the victim.” His Uncle told him as he pulled out a piece of picture from inside his pocket and showed it to Sho.  
  
A green four-leaves clover with an ‘AM’ initial keychain is what Sho saw. Sho was sure Masaki possesed the same thing which he always hang on his bag.  
  
“Indeed Masaki has this kind of same thing, but that doesn’t make this Masaki’s. I’m sure many people had this same keychain.” Sho argued as he handed the picture back.  
  
“Indeed.” His Uncle agreed. “But we found some fingerprints on it and they belonged to Masaki-kun’s.” His Uncled continued and Sho shot him a shocked look. “And the victim, I’m sure the both of you are familiar with him. He is Matsuoka Masayuki-kun.”  
  
“Matsuoka-senpai ?” Sho asked in disbelief. “But how come- ?”  
  
Just as Sho is about to ask further to his Uncle, they heard some shuffling sound and Sho turned around to find Masaki walking sluggishly to where they are, a hand gripping his beloved dog plushie, the other rubbing his eyes away.  
  
“Sho-chan ? A guest ?” Masaki asked groggily as he walked closer.  
  
Sho quickly stood up from his position and lead Masaki to the couch, making him sit properly before facing his Uncle again.  
  
“It’s Uncle Shigeru, Masaki.” Sho told him gently. “He said he need to ask you something.”  
  
Masaki stared at him confusedly before turning his face to look at Sho’s Uncle properly.  
  
“Ah ! Shigeru-jii !” He exclaimed after a while. “It’d been long. What is it you want to ask me about ?” He asked before letting out a couple coughs. “I’m sorry.”  
  
“It’s okay, Masaki-kun.” Sho’s Uncle said with a smile. “Anyway, do you recognize this keychain ?” He asked after pulling the picture out again and show it to Masaki.  
  
Masaki scrunched his face to study the picture for a while before nodding his head.  
  
“This is mine, yeah.” Masaki answered quietly. “But I’m sure I lost it sometimes ago. Why ? Did you found it ?”  
  
“Yes, in a way. But that’s not the point.” Sho’s Uncle said. “This keychain was found on your senior’s room last night. And this certain senior was being murdered when we found him.”  
  
Masaki widened his eyes in fear. “Who- ?”  
  
“It’s Matsuoka-senpai.” Sho answered instead.  
  
Masaki quickly turned to face Sho. “Matsu-nii ?! But how ? Why ?”  
  
“We’re not sure, Masaki-kun.” Sho’s Uncle said with a sigh as he placed back the picture inside his pocket. “We’re currently investigating the case. Anyway, are you sure you lost this keychain ? When was it ?”  
  
“I’m not sure.” Masaki answered spiritlessly, face downcast. “I realized it a couple of days ago, that the keychain was missing.”  
  
“I noticed it too.” Sho commented. “I thought Masaki was simply tired of it.”  
  
“I see.” His Uncle said contemplatively. “I guess that’s enough. I will be taking my leave. Masaki-kun, get well soon, ‘kay ?” He then stood up and took his leave.  
  
Sho stood up as well to take his Uncle to the front door.  
  
“Sho, please contact me if anything happen okay ? I didn’t mention this in front of Masaki-kun because I was afraid that it will upset him more, but do you know the recent suicide cases ?” His Uncle told him in a whisper while putting his coat on, and Sho nodded his head. “After some investigation, and after tonight’s case, the police thought that those were not suicides at all. We found some similarities on those previous cases and tonight’s case, and concluded that those people were actually murdered.”  
  
“And you think the suspect is the same ?” Sho asked with a frown.  
  
His Uncle nodded his head. “They were too similar to be done by a different person. We thought that the murderer made some slip last night, that’s why it didn’t appear that Matsuoka-san did a suicide. But we weren’t sure. There were too little clues as of now and when we found Masaki-kun’s fingerprints, eventhough I can’t believe Masaki-kun is related to these cases, we chased it desperately, because it was the only clue we had.”  
  
Sho frowned as he tried to digest the information.  
  
“I understand, Uncle. I will tell you if we figure something out.” He said in the end.  
  
“Thanks, Sho.” His Uncle smiled gratefully at him. “I will be taking my leave then. You two take care.”  
  
“We will.” Sho bid his Uncle one last goodbye before closing the door, making sure it’s locked properly –just in case-, before heading back to the livingroom where Masaki is still sitting silently, face looking down at his plushie dog on his lap.  
  
Sho sighed. The news must have been a great shock for Masaki. Matsuoka-senpai had been taking care of the two of them ever since they entered the University, always kindly inviting them to a meal in his house and taking them to many places. But Matsuoka-senpai had a soft spot for Masaki, and always doted on him like an older brother. Of course, hearing that the said guy was murdered must have been hard for Masaki.  
  
Just when Sho is about to call for Masaki, the tall guy stood from his position and walked back to his bedroom.  
  
“Masaki ?” Sho called out as he half-jogging to follow him.  
  
“I’m sorry, Sho-chan, but I’m tired. Can I go back to sleep ?” Masaki asked him weakly as he’s about to enter his room.  
  
Sho nodded his head slowly, forehead creased in concern. “Are you okay, Masaki ? Do you need anything ?”  
  
Masaki shook his head slowly, lips producing a small smile. “I will be fine, Sho-chan. Thank you.”  
  
Sho knows that Masaki was just forcing the smile before he closed the door and left Sho alone in the hallway. Because despite the facade Masaki was trying to give him, Sho still notice the tears Masaki tried to hold just because he doesn’t want to cry in front of Sho and worried him more. Sho sighed at the thought. As much as he’s worried for the boy, Sho knows better that Masaki need the time alone now. And so he slowly walked away from Masaki’s door, fishing out his phone to mail Kazama-kun and ask him to fix them some dishes again.  
  
And for some reason, Sho just felt that he’s the most pathetic person right now.


	5. Chapter 5

_“I will leave this house, but why ?” Shin asked in bewilderement._  
  
 _“Don’t make such a face, Shin.” Ninomiya said with a small chuckle. “I will just be sending you to learn more about the outside world. You will live in this place I had prepared for you, and I will enroll you to a school. You are still free to return here whenever you want to, but I still want you to see how dark this world really are by seeing it with your own eyes.”_  
  
 _“I see.” Shin said weakly, face downcast._  
  
 _“Don’t look so sad. You’re still my boy no matter where you are.” Ninomiya told him as he reached out a hand to ruffle his hair. “You’ve grown a lot, Shin. Your height almost surpass me now. And to think that only yesterday I cradle you in my arms and read you some night-time tales.”_  
  
 _“I won’t stay a kid forever, Ninomiya-sama.” Shin responded with a smile, before he sighed deeply. “Very well, Sir. I will do as you said. I promise I will make you proud.”_  
  
 _“You already did.” Ninomiya gave Shin one last pat before retreating his hand. “But I’m sure you will make me more proud in the future.”_  
  
 _\---_  
  
 _Shin looked out from his apartment window and sighed. It’d been two years since he last left Ninomiya’s mansion. But instead of seeing the darkness of this world like Ninomiya told him, he found rainbow and white fluffy clouds instead. Especially after meeting him and those other people around him, he felt like the world he envisioned from Ninomiya’s words was nothing but a delusion. Out here, he felt like he was stripped from the Shin persona he had built in order to please Ninomiya and he found himself laughing and smiling from the bottom of his heart as somebody else. It felt like he was betraying Ninomiya by forgetting his identity, who he really is, but it happened so naturally that Shin found himself being drowned inside it._  
  
 _“I just don’t know what’s right anymore...” He whispered to himself, knowing that no one will have the answer to it._  
  
 _A sound of the all too familiar ringtone brought him back from his reverie as Shin quickly answer the call without even have to look at the caller ID._  
  
 _“Hello ? Yeah, I’m good now.” Shin waited for the caller to speak before replying, “Sounds great ! I’ll be there soon ! Wait for me, ‘kay ?”_  
  
 _Shin hang up, a wide smile replacing his troubled look a moment ago. He had decided, that he will take care of things when he has to. For now, he simply want to enjoy life as much as he could._  
  
***  
  
“Sho-chan ? Are you free this Thursday ?” Masaki poked his head into Sho’s room in which the occupant is currently putting off the scarf around his neck.  
  
“I’m sorry, Masaki. The manager told me I have to come for work this Thursday. He said he needed all the help he need especially on Christmas Eve. After that, my parents told me to have dinner with them at home. Why ? Do you want to go somewhere ?” Sho asked, a frown on his face.  
  
“I see.” Masaki said, clearly showing his disappointment, but quickly cover it with a smile. “It’s nothing. Good luck on your part-time then !”  
  
Masaki then fled the room and enter his own, a pout slowly forming as he lied on his bed.  
  
“Stupid, Sho-chan ! Thursday is my birthday, he should keep that day open at least !” Masaki mumbled in annoyance as he rolled to the side. “Why did he took that part-time again ? It’s not like Sho-chan is having difficulty with money or something.”  
  
Masaki pulled his plushie and spoke to it as if it could listen to him.  
  
“But it’s not like I can force him to spend his Christmas Eve with me, right ? And he also said he need to go to his parents’ house after his job, too. He doesn’t seem to remember that it’s my birthday anyway.” Masaki rambled more. “I guess this year I could only spend my birthday with Kazama-pon, eh ? I will sooo make him pay for me !”  
  
Masaki grinned mischiviously but the grin faltered as soon as it came.  
  
“But it would be different without Sho-chan...” He sighed as he hug the dog plushie tight and close his eyes. “Oyasuminasai.”  
  
***  
  
“Master, could you please reconsider ?”  
  
Ninomiya snapped his head almost immediately.  
  
“What do you mean by ‘reconsider’, Shin ?” His eyes glinted dangerously, but his voice still strangely calm.  
  
Shin gulped down his saliva nervously.  
  
“The police has sniffed on us lately. Don’t you think we should take more careful steps now ?” Shin tried.  
  
“And whose fault do you think it was ?” Ninomiya shot back as he walked closer to where Shin is. “Remember, Shin, who saved you when the world turned their eyes from you ? Who saved you from that hell and raised you as if you're my own ? Are you saying that you disagree with me now ? Your saviour ? The one and only righteous being you should listen to ?”  
  
Shin flinched at the tone the man is using.  
  
“No, Ninomiya-sama. Of course not. If that was what you wish for, this loyal servant of yours will do whatever it takes to make it true.” Shin placed a hand on his chest and gave the man a deep bow.  
  
“Good.” Ninomiya said after a while. “That’s my boy. Now leave, before I change my mind.”  
  
Shin bowed one last time before taking his leave. Once he’s far, he let out a long sigh.  
  
“You saved me from that hell indeed, Ninomiya-sama.” He spoke to himself. “Only to shove me into another hell.”  
  
***  
  
“Kazama-pon ! Let’s go to one last bar !” Masaki exclaimed drunkenly as he dragged Kazama away.  
  
“Aiba-chan ! It’s enough already !” Kazama tried to pulled the taller guy back. “It’s late already and I think you’ve drunk enough. Let’s just go home now, okay ?”  
  
“But there will be no one even if I go home now.” Masaki mumbled sadly as his whole figure suddenly slumped down. “There is no meaning of going home if no one waits for you.”  
  
“Aiba-chan.” Kazama sigh deeply as Masaki suddenly dragged him again.  
  
“That’s why ! Let’s go partying until morning !”  
  
But Masaki failed to bring Kazama further when his body constricted and he suddenly jumped to the side and throw his stomach’s contents up.  
  
“Oh, Aiba-chan.” Kazama sighed again as he helped Masaki up. “Let’s just go home for now, okay ? You’re a mess.”  
  
“But- but-“  
  
“Look, let’s make it up tomorrow, okay ? You need to go home now.” Kazama said in s final tone and Masaki could only let the younger man to lead him inside a taxi which drive them to Masaki’s apartment.  
  
Kazama slowly helped Masaki back to his apartment, fishing the key from his pants’ pocket and lock the door back once they’re inside. He ushered Masaki to go inside first while he fussed over their shoes. Masaki simply shrugged as he walked to the livingroom.  
  
To his surprise, as soon as he stepped inside and turned on the lamp, a loud sound of party crackers are echoed in his ears.  
  
“Happy birthday, Masaki !”  
  
Masaki widened his eyes in surprise and look around to see Sho, along with some of their friends from University welcoming him with huge smiles. A big banner of _‘Happy birthday, Masaki’_ hanged on the wall behind them, and Masaki noticed how they have decorated the whole livingroom with balloons and coloured papers.  
  
“You guys ! Did you prepare these all for me ?!” He asked in awe.  
  
“Of course ! We asked Kazama to keep you away for a while as we did the decorations. You took longer than we thought, though.” YokoYu said excitedly as he lead Masaki to sit on the couch.  
  
“He insisted to _‘go to one last shop’_ every single time. He was so depressed that no one but me wished him a happy birthday, you see.” Kazama came from the front door and quickly took the beer can from the table. “It was such a trouble to persuade him to hurry and go home.”  
  
“Phew ! Must have been a nuisance.” Hina commented while wiping the imaginary sweat from his head. “Anyway, hurry and blow the candles, Aiba-chan ! I’m so eager to eat Sho-kun’s self-baked chocolate cake. Worry not ! I’ve prepared some medicine just in case we got some food poisoning after eating his cake !”  
  
“Hey !” Sho nudged Hina on the ribs, clearly offended by the comment.  
  
“It’s okay, Sho-chan. I’m sure it will be okay !” Masaki said encouragingly before blowing the candles YokoYu just lit which resulted with another cheers of ‘Happy birthday !’ from the guys.  
  
“Let’s dig in !” Hina said enthusiastically as he swiftly cut the cakes into several pieces, taking his own portion and taste the cake. “Sho-kun ! It’s too sweet !” He complained as soon as the fork entered his mouth.  
  
“Eh ? Really ? I practice hard for this and I made sure I didn’t mess up.” Sho said nervously as he tried on his own portion of cake. “Eek ! You’re right ! I guess I put too many sugar.”  
  
“Don’t mind, Sho-chan~ I think it’s delicious !” Masaki said happily as he chewed on his cake.  
  
“Yikes ! Aiba-chan ! How could you eat it so normally ?” YokoYu said as he scrunched his face at Masaki who took another cut of the cake to his mouth.  
  
“It’s delicious.” Masaki shrugged. “And I always love sweets anyway.”  
  
***  
  
“So you lied to me about those part-time job stuffs and actually went for a baking class instead ?” Masaki asked as he and Sho tidying up the messy living room the next morning. The other three immediately fled as soon as they woke up, clearly running away from the cleaning up duty.  
  
“Yeah. Something like that.” Sho said with a shrug. “I remembered you telling me last year that you wished I could at least bake so I could make your birthday cake.”  
  
“I did ?” Masaki asked again, face contorted in confusion. “I don’t remember.”  
  
“You were half-sleeping, and drunk too. Of course you won’t remember.” Sho snorted at the memory. “But because you’re drunk and half-asleep, I believe that was your real feeling. That’s why I worked my ass off in that baking class, you know !”  
  
“Sho-chan...”  
  
Sho turned around to find Masaki looking at him tearfully.  
  
“You’re the best !” Masaki yelled excitedly before plunging onto Sho and latched his body tight. “And I thought you don’t remember about my birthday.”  
  
“If I said I remember, that would ruin the surprise, won’t it ?” Sho said softly as he caress Masaki’s hair gently. “Now get off, will you ? We still have so many cleaning to do.”  
  
Masaki pulled back from his death hug on Sho and wiped his face on the his sleeve.  
  
“Don’t cry, Masaki.” Sho said with an amused look. “It’s Christmas ! We should be happy !”  
  
“I am happy.” Masaki pouted as he wiped his face one last time before turning his back on Sho. “I am too happy that the tears came out.”  
  
Sho smiled at the soft remark Masaki made. Sometimes, Masaki is just too cute to resist. Actually, there was another reason as to why Sho tried so hard in his baking class. Ever since Matsuoka-senpai’s death, Masaki is less hyper than he used to. Sho often caught him staring blankly at nothing, and he can’t help but notice the ugly circles around Masaki’s eyes. Masaki must have find it hard to sleep lately, and it worried Sho. That’s why, at least for a short while, Sho wanted to bring the smile back to Masaki’s face, and he wanted Masaki to forget everything at least for a short while. And he was glad his plan worked.  
  
“The cake failed, though.” Sho whispered to himself at remembering how Masaki happily munched on his cake despite the overly-sweet taste. While it was true that Masaki has a sweet tooth, even Sho knows that the sweetness of his cake was simply making it distasteful. Masaki surely only ate it to respect Sho’s effort.  
  
“It was really delicious, you know.” Masaki’s voice is suddenly heard and Sho turned back to make sure he wasn’t imagining thing.  
  
“I didn’t eat it just because I pity Sho-chan, but because it was truly delicious.” Masaki said again, a huge smile on his face. “Because to me, the sweetness tasted like Sho-chan’s love !”  
  
And Sho could only hide his face in embarassment, knowing how red his cheeks are now.  
  
“And I love Sho-chan too !”


	6. Chapter 6

_Shin could only touch his aching cheek from his slumped position on the floor. He could still hear the angry huffing Ninomiya made as the man stood still at his position after sending a strike at Shin’s cheek._  
  
 _“You ! After everything I did, you- !”_  
  
 _Ninomiya must have been so mad he can’t form a proper sentence. Shin was too afraid to look up at his Master, and so he just stare at the ground in fear while listening carefully at Ninomiya who seemed to be trying to compose his breathing. Seconds later, he heard Ninomiya walking away and a creaking sound of wood scratching the floor was an indication that the man had decided to took his seat._  
  
 _“Stand up, Shin.” He gave an order, voice cold._  
  
 _Shin stood up as he was told, but still avoiding eye-contacts._  
  
 _“I allowed you to share a room with that friend of yours. I let you have a second life with your new identity and put a blind eye on what you did as your other persona.” Ninomiya halted, as if trying to keep his emotion at bay. “I only ask one thing from you in return, Shin. Just one thing. That is for you to listen to my order without question. Is that too much to ask ?”_  
  
 _Shin shook his head, not trusting his voice to answer Ninomiya’s question._  
  
 _A long sigh could be heard coming from Ninomiya’s mouth, and Shin felt more than see the man leaning back on his chair tiredly._  
  
 _“That boy has started to rub on you too much, Shin. And I don’t like it one bit.” At those words, Shin immediately looked up to see straight into Ninomiya’s piercing eyes. “And if you don’t be careful the next time, I can’t promise you his safety. You know what I’m capable of, Shin. You better understand.”_  
  
 _Shin bit his lips hard he could taste blood. But he nodded his head nevertheless. Because he know what the man will be doing if he did otherwise._  
  
 _“Good boy.” A smile is formed on Ninomiya’s thin lips. “You will spend the night here today, Shin. I will make sure you remember your purpose well.”_  
  
 _Shin stared at the man in horror. This could only mean one thing, and Shin vowed to himself years ago not to relive those times the second time. It was the worst day of his live he just wanted to erase from his memories._  
  
 _“Please, Ninomiya-sama. Please don’t punish me.” Shin could only whimper as he hung his head low, knowing exactly that the man won’t change his mind._  
  
 _“I won’t do something bad to you, Shin. I will just remind you of who you truly are and where do you belong.” A malicious grin is all over Ninomiya’s face. “And tomorrow, I will send you back to that dreamworld of yours with you remembering to whom you should always listen to.”_  
  
***  
  
“Masaki, you’re going somewhere ?”  
  
The called boy turned his body around and flashed Sho a smile.  
  
“Yeah. I have some business for a while. But don’t worry, I’ll be back before midnight !” He wave at Sho before walking away.  
  
“Be careful, okay ? I heard from Uncle that another person just died around the area.” Sho followed Masaki to the front door while voicing out his worry.  
  
“Sho-chan worries too much. I’m a big guy already, I can take care of myself, Sho-chan.” Masaki assured him, placing his two hands on Sho’s sloping shoulders.  
  
“Contact me if anything happen, okay ? I will be waiting.” Sho said, still cannot get rid of his worry.  
  
“Roger, Mum !” Masaki grinned mischiviously before heading out. “ _Ittekimaa~su._ ”  
  
***  
  
“Eh ? What do you mean, Ninomiya-sama ?”  
  
Ninomiya closed his eyes as he took his time to answer the question.  
  
“Exactly as I said, Shin. I’m not giving you a permission to leave this house until further notice.” Ninomiya repeated the words he just said a minute ago.  
  
“But-“ Shin tried to argue. “How about my college ? And my friends ? They surely will notice that something is wrong if I didn’t return ?”  
  
“I already take care of them. Shun will be your cover for the meantime.” Ninomiya explained calmly.  
  
“But-“  
  
“Are you trying to defy my, Shin ?” The man throw a cold look at Shin, face intimidating.  
  
Shin could only hung his head low. “No, Master.”  
  
“So you will listen to my order and stay here, right ?”  
  
Shin has to fight the urge to say no and nod his head. “Yes, Master. I will stay.”  
  
“Good boy. Now go, Shun is outside to show you your room.”  
  
***  
  
“I told you, Shin.”  
  
Shin just rolled his eyes as he throw his coat on the bed rather harshly.  
  
“Shut up, Shun !” He hissed at the younger man.  
  
Shun only sigh as he walked away from the angered man.  
  
“I will tell you if something happen. For the meantime, try not to get into the Master’s nerve.”  
  
And with that, Shun closed the bedroom door. Shin faintly heard a clicking sound from behind the door, and when he went to check, he found the door is locked. All windows are barred with hard steel, making no room for Shin to escape. And to add it up, the Master just confiscated his phone, making him isolated inside the room without any contacts with other people. Shin sighed as he resigned to his fate and lied on top of the bed dejectedly.  
  
“How come things become this messy ?”  
  
***  
  
Shin didn’t know how much days have passed since he was confined inside that room. Until one day, the door is opened, but instead of Shun who usually brought his daily meal, it’s that bulky guy who came instead.  
  
“What is it ?” He asked warily, not really wanting to argue.  
  
The man said nothing though, as he only walked closer to where Shin is. And when he’s right in front of him, he strike at the back of Shin’s head, making him lose his consciousness immediately.  
  
***  
  
Sho ran in a hurry while checking on his phone every once in a while. Masaki had not returned to home that night, and it had been almost a week since he last saw Masaki. Kazama-kun told him and the others that Masaki suddenly had to return to his hometown because his Mother fell ill, and Sho had believed in the story at first. But after a while, Masaki still haven’t contacted him, neither did he answer his mails nor calls. And it made Sho worry. He even told his Uncle about this but his Uncle only told him that Masaki will be fine.  
  
Talking about his Uncle, he seemed to be very busy lately. He heard that the serial murder cases are progressing real fast lately and that was the reason his Uncle is constantly moving around from places to places.  
  
Back to the main issue though, not ten minutes ago, Sho received a mail from Masaki, but the content of the mail quickly wiped the excited grin from Sho’s face at hearing from the guy after a while.  
  
As soon as he read the last word of the mail, Sho quickly made a dash to the place mentioned inside the mail, not caring about anything else. He could feel his heart thumping in uneasiness as he got closer and closer to the destination.  
  
 _‘From : Masaki_  
 _To : Sho-chan_  
 _Subject : None_  
  
 _If you want this boy save, come to the abandoned warehouse at Kamakura-cho, near the shore.’_  
  
And on the attachment of the mail, came a picture where Sho could clearly see an unconscious Masaki tied to a chair.  
  
“Masaki, please be okay !”  
  
Sho bent down as he tried to catch his breath. After he regained his breath back, Sho gulped down a huge amount of air before entering the abandoned warehouse written on the mail. He made his way carefully, trying to locate Masaki’s whereabout. He had forwarded the mail to his Uncle just in case though, so Sho could only hope his Uncle will come before things went from worse to worst.  
  
Sho entered one of the room on his left and scanned the whole room before widening his eyes in surprise. There, by the corner of the room, sat the still unconscious Masaki.  
  
“Masaki !” Sho yelled in a spontaneous reaction and rushed to where he is. “Masaki, wake up !” Sho called as he tried to loosen the tie around Masaki’s body.  
  
“Urgh...”  
  
Sho heard a pained groan coming from Masaki’s mouth as the boy slowly regained his consciousness.  
  
“Sho-chan ?” Sho could see Masaki’s eyes slowly opened and he looked at him confusedly, still trying to grasp the situation. “Wha- ?”  
  
“Shh.. It’s okay, Masaki. I’ll get you out of here.” Sho tried to console the man as he tried again on the rope, cursing as the knot is very tight it’s hard for him to untie.  
  
“Sho-chan ! Watch out !” Masaki yelled out of the blue right after Sho released the knot and push Sho out of the way, resulting in the two of them lying on the floor with Masaki on top of him.  
  
“Ouch !” Sho groaned in pain as he rise from his position, helping Masaki up too in the process. “Masaki, what- ?”  
  
Just as Sho was about to ask Masaki as to why he suddenly pushed him, he noticed a knife is stucked on the chair where Masaki previously sat on. Only then he realized that someone was trying to throw the knife at him.  
  
“Sho, stand back behind me.” Masaki suddenly whispered as he stood in front of Sho.  
  
It was then Sho realized someone else’s presence aside from him and Masaki inside the room. A man on his late thirty, with a sly smirk on his face, slowly making his way to where the two of them stood.  
  
“What are you planning ?” Masaki asked, his voice filled with anger.  
  
“I’ve warned you, Shin. I’ve warned you not to get too involved, but you decided by yourself to go against me.” The man said with mock pity. “And now, I had to do this in order to make you remember where you truly belong.”  
  
“You-“ Masaki hissed dangerously at the man.  
  
As for Sho, he is currently trapped between confusion and fear. He didn’t know who that man referred to as Shin, and as to why Masaki reacted this way. And never in his entire life, Sho ever saw Masaki this angry. In fact, Masaki never got angry before, no matter how much a certain thing pissed him off. And to Sho, the view of Masaki in rage is simply frightening.  
  
“Allow me to introduce myself, young man.” The man said calmly, that annoying smirk still on his face. “My name is Ninomiya Kazunari. And that boy over there, is my protege, Shin.”  
  
***  
  
 _Shin had to miss school for a week straight from the fever right after that night Ninomiya gave him a punishment. He started to wonder, as to why Ninomiya went that far just because Shin said that he didn’t feel like doing what he had been doing anymore. But Shin was too scared and too pained to care. His flatmate fussed over him, and Shun would stay with him when he wasn’t around, eyes showing pity._  
  
 _Shin had snorted at him, of how he shouldn’t feel any pity toward Shin, but Shun denied and instead telling him that he’s doing that out of care. Shun is the same kind as Shin, the abandoned and forgotten child nobody but Ninomiya care to look at. But Shun have yet to do the job Shin had been doing because Ninomiya insisted that he wasn’t ready yet. And Shin has to agree, seeing at how Shun was traumatized with death, a result of his bitter past._  
  
 _Shun had told him that he should just break it off with that roommate of his, knowing exactly that he’s the reason Shin had to suffer now. But Shin had refused. Because no matter what Ninomiya and Shun had said, the other boy had become a much to treasured being for him now, and he simply can’t let him go._  
  
 _“By being with him, I can forget that I’m Shin the murderer for once.” Shin said, a serene smile on his face. “By being with him, I could be the happy-go-lucky Aiba Masaki who cares nothing about the world. And that’s when I feel most alive.”_


	7. Chapter 7

Sho found it hard to digest the information he just received. What was that man talking about ? Was he really trying to tell him that the Aiba Masaki he knows is not actually _Aiba Masaki_? How can that be possible ? Sho just can’t picture the always smiling and clumsy Masaki to be the cold-blooded killer behind those death.  
  
“M-Masaki ? What is he talking about ? He-He’s joking, right ?” Sho turned at Masaki to ask for a confirmation, but when Masaki could only look away anguishly, everything dawned upon Sho.  
  
“Masaki ? Tell me he wasn’t telling the truth..” Sho tried, but Masaki still avoiding his eyes. “Masaki !” Sho lost his temper and grabbed Masaki by his collar.  
  
“He was telling the truth, Sho.” Masaki said in the end, voice defeated. “I am not who you think I am.”  
  
“Are you, are you telling me you’ve been deceiving me all this time ?” Sho asked in disbelief.  
  
“About my identity, yes.” Masaki said almost in a whisper, and that’s when Sho lost it.  
  
“How could you ?! I thought we’re friends, Masaki ! How could you used and deceived me like that !” Sho screamed from the top of his lungs, his breathing ragged.  
  
“But that doesn’t mean that I was faking my feelings toward you !” Masaki screamed back, eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “I really thought of you as a friend, Sho, my bestfriend. Sometimes I just wished I could’ve met you earlier, then perhaps, things won’t be as complicated as it is now.”  
  
Masaki broke away from Sho’s grip while wiping his eyes hastily.  
  
“Now what, Master ? You’ve ruined my life now. And then what ? You want to punish me ? Or kill me ? Go on, I don’t care anymore.” Masaki  turned to face Ninomiya, all fear abandoned. At this point, Masaki is careless at the consequence he might face in the future for talking back to his Master rudely like that.  
  
“I only have one order for you, Shin.” Ninomiya said slyly, seemingly ignoring Masaki’s rude remarks. “That is, for you to erase that boy’s existence.”  
  
Just as he said that, Ninomiya pulled a gleaming knife from inside his coat’s pocket and offered it for Masaki to take. Masaki widened his eyes in surprise, he clearly did not anticipate the words coming from the man.  
  
“What’s wrong, Shin ? Are you going to deny me, your Master, your Saviour ?” Ninomiya lifted his head as if mocking them.  
  
Masaki bit his lips. Ninomiya is indeed his Master, the one who had saved his life once. Without Ninomiya, Masaki would have died years ago, rotten in a dirty cell where no one would bother to even come to. Ninomiya is the saviour of his life. But Sho, Sho is important to him too. Sho is his bestfriend, the one who always stay by his side no matter what. Sho is, the saviour of his soul.  
  
"No, I cannot allow that."  
  
Masaki was sure that Ninomiya is raged by his denial.  
  
“Shin !” Ninomiya roared. “You should listen to me and me only !”  
  
“Weren’t you the one who told me that I’m a free man ?” Masaki roared back, and he could see Ninomiya being taken aback by his words. “Have you forgotten, Ninomiya-sama ? On that day you found and saved me, when you released the chains which bounded me, that I’m finally free ? That I can do whatever I want ?”  
  
“I-“ Ninomiya looked away, as if refusing Masaki’s words.  
  
"Tell me to do anything and everything, Master. Tell me to provoke people into suicides, or to dirty my own hands to erase one's existence, even to _kill my own self_ , I would gladly do any of those things.” Masaki said desperately. “But please, allow me to make just one wish as a free man. Sakurai Sho has nothing to do with us, please let him go."  
  
"W-wha- ?" The surprise on Ninomiya's face turned into that of an angry beast in an instant. "Did that brat over there brainwashed you, Shin ?! Or did he threaten you so bad that you're too scared to even make a move on him ?! Tell me, Shin ! Tell me and I will erase your doubts and worries ! For you to be able to perform your duty, I-"  
  
"But I am doing my duties !" Half-shouting, Masaki was flustered at what he had done. "And it's not like Sho has done anything to me at all, it's just that, his very presence, it is something that I have to protect no matter what. Because for me, he is the only one different from the rest of the people of this filthy world. I had made a vow to myself, Master, that I will protect Sho and the hope he’s carrying within him."  
  
"Hope ? What hope ?" The coldness in Ninomiya's voice was so intense that Masaki could feel it piercing his skin.  
  
Masaki bit his lower lip as he looked away, apparently hesitant in the words he is about to say.  
  
"Answer me, Shin ! What exactly is this nonsense you were spurting ?!"  
  
"I know that I'm not making any sense, alright !?" Masaki exploded, his eyes shone from the suppressed emotions he held within. "I am fully aware that this world is filled with nothing but filthy human beings, and that it was our purpose to clean this world from such being ! But when I'm with Sho, I couldn't stop myself from feeling happy and content for real ! Whenever I'm with Sho, I could forget about the world and smile from the depth of my heart ! Whenever I'm with Sho, I couldn't help but feel that everything will be okay ! That if we never give up, something good will come out eventually ! Whenever I'm with Sho, I was always entertained with the thought that hope exist as long as you believed in them ! That living actually worth something...”  
  
"Worth ? What does it worth to live in this world ?!"  
  
"It always worth something." Not only Ninomiya and Masaki, but Sho himself was surprised at the words he was saying. But realizing that there's no backing out now, he gulped and continue. "By being grateful for who you are and the life given to you, you are already worth something. The sense of achievement when you managed to do something people expected you to do, the feeling of contentment when you heard the sound of chirping birds the first thing in the morning, the excitement of facing the unexpected everyday..."  
  
Sho then shifted his gaze and his eyes met Masaki's surprised one. Sho felt the anger within him dissipated, and it was replaced with something else, something warmer. After he calmed down, Sho finally could see everything more clearly. Masaki, Shin, whoever he is, it doesn’t really matter to him. The man had went through a lot, and Sho could only imagine the sufferings he went through. And to hear about Masaki’s feeling at him, of the times they spent together, Sho couldn’t stop himself from seeing past Masaki’s sins and remembering the Masaki he came to know. The Masaki he came to treasured.  
  
And so he smiled.  
  
"The times you spent with those important people. How you laughed, or cried, or smiled, or angry, everything made you worthy as a human being. Because it's important to you, that's why it is like your treasures that you will protect with your all. For me, every encounters that I've come across is my treasure, that is of course, including my encounter with Masaki. I believe that there are things Masaki treasured as well." Sho chuckled when he caught a sight of a blushing Masaki who averted his gaze away. He then turned to face Ninomiya, his features sharpened thought the gentleness remained. "For you too, I'm sure there is something you want to protect with your all at all cost. Your treasures."  
  
"Nonsense !" Ninomiya roared, ready to launch another rage when Masaki stopped him.  
  
“Please, Master. Let’s just, let it go, okay ? I will return to you and obey your every orders. I will forget life with Sho and the rest of the world and offer myself to you only. That’s why, please let Sho go and forget this, okay ?” Masaki begged him, and Sho stared at him with a mixed feeling fo sadness and disbelief.  
  
“Masaki...”  
  
Masaki turned to face him and smiled. “This is for the best, Sho-chan. But- You wanna know my treasures, Sho-chan ? Those were the times I spent with you. Because when I’m with you, I could see the world in various colours and enjoy life to the fullest. It was a short time, but I truly treasured those moments.” A tear fell down from Masaki’s eyes before he continued, “Goodbye, Sho-chan.”  
  
Masaki turned around and is about to leave and take Ninomiya away with him, when he found the said man stood still in his position.  
  
“No ! I can’t allow this ! I can’t let that man who had brainwashed Shin to live ! I just can’t !”  
  
Masaki could feel danger coming from Ninomiya as he hissed angrily while glaring at Sho with eyes filled with venom.  
  
“Sho ! Run !”  
  
But before Sho could react, Ninomiya already made a run towards him, pointing the knife he had been holding right at him. And Sho closed his eyes as knew he was doomed when he felt himself falling backwards.  
  
But the only pain he felt was from the impact his back made with the ground.  
  
Sho slowly opened his eyes and suddenly felt a weight on his body. From his view, he could see Ninomiya looming over him, face contorted in horror. He gazed his eyes down and saw Masaki’s body toppling him. Sho was confused. Did Masaki just pushed him to protect him ? But why did Ninomiya looked fearful ?  
  
That’s when Sho heard a groan coming from Masaki as the man lifted his own body away from Sho.  
  
“Sho ? Are you alright ?” Masaki asked him, and Sho can’t help but notice the pain in his voice.  
  
“I’m alright.” Sho nodded his head dumbly as he too rose from his lying position.  
  
“No... This can’t be...” Ninomiya stepped back hastily, face still wide in shock.  
  
Sho was about to question Ninomiya’s weird attitude when Masaki’s body suddenly fell and out of reflect, Sho catch him before he hit the floor.  
  
“Masaki ?!”  
  
“Aah, I’m sorry. I didn’t think the bloodloss will make me light-headed.” Masaki said with a weak smile, and it was then Sho realized that Masaki had been gripping on his waist the whole time, and that blood is oozing out from the wound Masaki seemingly received when he covered for Sho.  
  
“Why did you-?”  
  
“I said it, right ? That I had vowed to myself that I will protect you no matter what.” Masaki said with a smile and Sho felt himself tearing.  
  
But Masaki gave Sho no room to fuss over him as he turned his face toward the still scared-looking Ninomiya.  
  
“Ninomiya-sama, I’m sorry, that I can’t be the one you wanted me to be. I had always doubted everything we’d done, and my meeting with Sho assured me that we were wrong the whole time.” Masaki gasped, and Sho noticed how much effort Masaki needed just to stay awake. “You will always be someone I respect, no matter what wrong-doings you’ve done or you made me do. But that’s exactly why, I don’t want you to fall even deeper to the darkness.”  
  
“Masaki, please stop talking.” Sho said as he fished out his phone with trembling hands and dialed an ambulance. “It could wait for later, ‘kay ? Let’s just, let’s save your energy for now.”  
  
But Masaki only gave him a smile as he shook his head slowly.  
  
“We are men of sin, Ninomiya-sama.” Masaki continued, colour leaving his face and breathing shallow. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a second chance to change. That’s why-“ Masaki gasped again, it seems like he find breathing is a diffcult task now. “That’s why, won’t you give this world another chance, too ? I’m sure you aren’t always who you are, that you’ve become like this after facing a certain misery. But Ninomiya-sama, I’m sure you’ll refind the light if you will just try to view the world differently. I’m sure you’ll refind your happiness.”  
  
Masaki winced as he gasped for air again.  
  
“Masaki !”  
  
The tall man turned toward Sho and give him the warmest smile Sho ever see.  
  
“Sho, I’m sorry, for deceiving you and giving you hurtful memories.” Masaki told him. “But please believe me when I said that my feelings towards you wasn’t fake. You are truly an important person in my life, Sho. At least, I want you to believe in that.”  
  
Sho said nothing as he cried while cradling Masaki’s body.  
  
"Ah, I made you cry. I'm sorry, I must have made you real upset." A small frown is formed on Masaki's forehead. "I could only be a bother to you, even now, that I'm at my end. I really am sorry."  
  
"Stop apologizing, you idiot !" Sho shouted, while his hands wrapped even tighter on Masaki's body. "Didn't I always said, that we're bestfriends so no matter what you do, I will always forgive you ! So don't you dare apologizing now as if you're saying goodbye, you fool !"  
  
"Sho-chan ?"  
  
"There are still things that we haven't done, alright ?! Like that trip to Okinawa's hotspring ! Or that free tickets from YokoYu to the amusement park ! We haven't gone to that new shop near the station as well ! And we even haven't done our summer’s assignments yet ! And about our dream to go around the world ! Who will bug me over those silly things if you're gone now, huh ?" Sho shouted with all his might, half-wishing it will keep Masaki awake.  
  
"Sho-chan-" Masaki sighed. "Really, what would you do without me ?"  
  
Sho cried harder, remembering very well the words he always said to Masaki when the man is in trouble.  
  
"But if it is you, I think you will do just fine. I'm sure of it. After all, you're the great Sakurai Sho-kun."  
  
Sho looked down, seeing at how Masaki smiled so radiantly at him.  
  
"You should go to that hotspring in Okinawa. And to not use that free tickets would be a waste. And make sure you visit that new shop and see how the meals' taste. You can forget about the assignments though, in exchange, try your best in fulfilling that dream to go around the world soon after you graduate ! But college first is fine too. Because you will live long and happily enjoying your everydays as always. Right ?"  
  
"But I- without you, I-"  
  
"Sho-chan." Masaki looked up, his eyes filled with desperation. "Thank you. Thank you so much for always being there for me."  
  
Trying his best to suppress the new batch of tears, Sho nodded his head, before burying it deep into Masaki's chest, not minding how it'd dirtied him. It felt like forever when the loud sound of sirene is heard. But he had felt Masaki’s body fell limp on his arms long before the ambulance came and the paramedics forced him away from his embrace. Sho wailed, begging them not to take Masaki away, when two strong arms pulled him back and he was suddenly faced with his Uncle’s anguish look.  
  
“Uncle- I- Masaki- We- !” Sho tried, but failed to explain things to the man.  
  
“It’s okay, Sho.” The man gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Don’t you worry, the paramedics are trying to save Masaki-kun right now. Let’s just believe in them.”  
  
And the Sho was reminded that there is another man along with them in that abandoned warehouse.  
  
“Uncle ! That Ninomiya guy- !”  
  
“We’ve already captured him.” His Uncle pointed to the other police officer who dragged Ninomiya who still seemed to be in a daze. “And you don’t have to explain a thing. I know already. About that Ninomiya man, and his relation with Masaki-kun.”  
  
“How- ?”  
  
“Your other friend, Kazama Shunsuke-kun ? He came to us this morning and confessed everything. He told us that Ninomiya had went insane and that we are the only one who could save Masaki-kun from Ninomiya’s wrath.” His Uncle told him quietly.  
  
“What will you do to Masaki then ?” Sho couldn’t help but ask, face filled with fear.  
  
“I don’t know, Sho.” His Uncle gave a long sigh. “True to be told, I just don’t know what to do.” His Uncle must have sensed how it affected Sho, so the man added a moment later, “For the time being, let’s just hope that everything will turn out well. Both for you, and for Masaki-kun.”  
  
Sho said nothing as he simply nodded at his Uncle’s words. He could only rely on miracles now.


	8. Chapter 8

From all people Sho expected to see, he never expected Kazama to appear on his doorstep now.  
  
“Kazama-kun ?!”  
  
The man smiled awkwardly.  
  
“Hey. Uhm, may I come in ?”  
  
Sho then made way to invite the younger man in. He offered some drink before going to the kitchen to grab said refreshment.  
  
“This is the only thing we have now. I haven’t had the chance to go shopping lately.” Sho said politely as he place a can of orange juice and an empty glass on the table. “So, what brought you here ?”  
  
A lot of questions are running on Sho’s head, but he decided to follow the flow and let Kazama speak on his own pace for now.  
  
“The police let me go the other day, for I didn’t do much aside from being ignorant to the crimes happening around me. They still watched me though, not that I really mind.” Kazama chuckled bitterly. “But I’m not here to talk about me, I’m here to talk about Shin.”  
  
Sho felt his body tensed at the mention of the name.  
  
“I visit him just this afternoon, and the doctor told me that he’s not making any progress.” Kazama said, voice low. “He has no other family and relative, and the closest person he has is you, Sho-kun.”  
  
“What’s your point, Kazama-kun ?” Sho couldn’t stop himself from asking.  
  
“Shin has been in a coma for almost a month already. And you’re smart enough to know that the longer someone stay in a vegetative state, the slimmer their chance to ever wake up.  And sooner or later, the hospital will come and make you take the decision. Of whether you want to keep Shin alive, or not.” Kazama spilled, before an ironic chuckle came from his mouth. “He lost way too much blood that night, and received  fatal impact on his vital organ. But the doctors managed to save his life that night, and they were wondering as to why Shin has yet to wake up. In my personal opinion, Shin simply refused to face the cruel reality the second time.”  
  
Sho closed his eyes. He had been pondering at that thought himself for weeks, about why Masaki won’t wake up despite the prediction of the doctors that he should be awake since some times ago, and about what would happen to Masaki if- no, when Masaki wake up. Sho fully realized the responsibility he shouldered along when he’s registering himself as Masaki’s dependent after knowing that he has no family anymore. But even now, he still doesn’t want to be the one to decide Masaki’s fate.  
  
“You know, even if Shin were to wake up and recover, he might still have to pay for his crimes. But seeing the circumstances, I’m not sure what kind of punishment he will receive for them.” Kazama leaned back on the couch with a sigh. “And only by thinking how much time he will have to spend in jail, truthfully, I don’t know whether it is a good thing for him to actually wake up. Shin might have appreciate us more to never let him wake up and face the harsh world again. But I guess, that’s yours to decide.”  
  
Sho said nothing, his head filled with many different scenarios of a ‘What if’ situation.  
  
“If you were to ask me though, to me, Shin has already died.” Kazama said, voice so light that Sho stood up with full intention to punch him in the face. But Sho stopped himself, because Kazama suddenly turned to face him with determined look. “But you can still save Aiba Masaki, Sho-kun. No- you are the only one who can save him.”  
  
Sho looked deep into Kazama’s eyes, and realized just how desperate Kazama is. And that is when Sho figured out that he’s not the only one in this whole thing.  
  
“You’re wrong, Kazama-kun.” Sho said as he sat back on the couch, and he could see Kazama losing hope at his words. “We all can save Masaki together. You and me, and everyone else.” He turned to face Kazama and see him looking back at him tearfully. “Won’t you work together with me to save Masaki, Kazama-kun ?”  
  
And Kazama flashed him a smile. A true and sincere smile, as he nodded his head to answer to his request.  
  
***  
  
Sho has decided that he will fight for Masaki’s life no matter what. He had put his faith on Masaki, and he has no intention to start disbelieving him now. But after a year of waiting and waiting, even Sho feel like giving up sometimes. The seasons have changed before Sho’s eyes, and it’s now spring again. Out of habit, Sho dropped by the pharmacy on his way to the campus, already holding hayfever’s medicines and have the cashier scanned them, when Sho realized that he didn’t even have to do it since Masaki won’t even be up to suffer the hayfever like he usually did every other year.  
  
Sho sighed as he bought them nevertheless, planning to keep it as a lucky charm or the like, before he went out of the store and headed to the University. Sho wasn’t supposed to have any class today, but his mind was filled with so many things concerning Masaki as of lately, that one day he just earned himself a bad mark from Matsumoto-sensei. That’s why now, he went to meet the said lecturer to fix his mark.  
  
“Come in.”  
  
Strangely enough, the voice who invited him in as he knocked on the door did not belong to Matsumoto-sensei. In fact, it was another familiar voice he hasn’t heard in a while because the lecturer had to leave the campus for his exhibition.  
  
“Ohno-sensei.” Sho greeted the man while giving a bow when he realized that Matsumoto-sensei is there as well. “Matsumoto-sensei. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.”  
  
“Jun-sensei hasn’t wait for long.” Ohno-sensei answered him instead. “Come. Take a seat, Sakurai-kun.”  
  
Sho nodded dumbly as he walked to the chair Ohno-sensei pointed at and took a seat.  
  
“I didn’t hear about you returning already, Ohno-sensei.” Sho said, still shocked at seeing the man after a while.  
  
“I returned yesterday. And that’s when Jun-sensei told me that you’re having a bad time in classes lately. It was uncharacteristically of you to slack off, Sakurai-kun.” Ohno told him, his voice calm. “May I know what is it that has been bothering you ?”  
  
“I-“ Sho hesitated, but decided to give it a go. “Have you heard about Masa- I mean, Aiba-kun, sensei ?”  
  
“Yes, I have.” The tan man nodded his head, eyes showing sympathy. “I’m sorry for what had happened with Aiba-kun. I hope he will recover soon.”  
  
Sho made a soft smile. “The truth is, sensei, Aiba-kun had done something in the past, and thus, I don’t know what will happen to him once he wakes up. He might will have to pay for his actions in the past, and the thought made me wonder whether it is a good thing for him to wake up at all.” Sho sighed, realizing that he has babbling some nonsenses in front of his lecturers. “I’m sorry, sensei, I didn’t mean to be this emotional. I guess I was just worried about him and in result, I failed to pay a proper attention in class. I’m sorry for all the troubles, I will make sure this won’t happen a second time.”  
  
Ohno-sensei only smile at him, the same smile he always made when Masaki made a fool of himself in his class.  
  
“It made you wish that Aiba-kun should never meet Ninomiya-kun at all, right ?”  
  
Sho almost sprain his neck at the speed he’s using to look at Ohno-sensei’s face right after he said those words.  
  
“Ohno-sensei, how did you- ?”  
  
The man smiled before leaning back on his seat. “Ninomiya-kun was my childhood friend, Sakurai-kun. We were so close much like how you are with Aiba-kun. And I must tell you, that Ninomiya-kun was not always the fearful man he’d become. He was sharp-mouthed, careless to everything but his games, impatient, and is a big bully. But I knew better that he’s kinder than everyone else.”  
  
Sho listened to the man’s story intently, waiting for him to continue as he took a pause.  
  
“But something happened which brought an end to Ninomiya-kun’s family. The people they trusted the most, betrayed them and Ninomiya-kun had to suffer the lost of his own family in a massacre that night. He was spared, all because he was spending the night at my house and we were star-gazing when the incident happened. From that day, Ninomiya-kun had refused to believe in anyone anymore, isolating himself away, and vowing to himself that he will never let the same thing to ever happen again the second time.” Ohno-sensei made a sad smile, as if remembering the past he’d rather keep to himself.  
  
“I was there when Ninomiya-kun changed. The kind and warm Ninomiya-kun I knew had evolved into a cold, and heartless human being. I was there when Ninomiya-kun said that he will erase every filthy human beings with his own hands from now on, to prevent the same tragedy from occuring ever again. I was there when he decided to abandon humanity, and I didn’t do a thing to stop him.” Ohno-sensei closed his eyes. “I knew everything, of what he’d do if I let him go, but I didn’t try to stop him. I knew everything he’d done from that moment on, in that isolated house of his where he controlled people and cease one existence with a snap of a finger, but I didn’t try to change that. If I have to say, I’m as guilty as Ninomiya-kun is.”  
  
“Sensei, I-“ Sho tried to say something, but Ohno-sensei stopped him with a smile.  
  
“I knew everything yet I decided to ignore them. And you, Sakurai-kun, you weren’t aware of the things which are happening, and yet when you found out, you decided to _make a change_. That’s what’s different between us. And that difference, will bring a different fate to our respectable partners as well.” Ohno-sensei told him, eyes soft as he said so. “Aiba-kun will have to face the consequence of his actions once he’s awoken, but he won’t be alone because you will be there to help him through the struggle. You won’t leave him alone. Unlike me...”  
  
“Sensei...”  
  
“Don’t be like me, Sakurai-kun.” Ohno-sensei said with a warning tone. “Don’t be like me and leave your bestfriend to face everything by himself. Be there eventhough you know you won’t be of any help, because by simply being there, you’re telling him that he’s not alone. That you’ve got his back to make sure he doesn’t stray from the path. I was too late to realize this, but I’ve learnt that simply staying by his side is enough. Because you’re his bestfriend, and you have the power to change his fate. You only have to believe in him, and in yourself.”  
  
Sho looked up, and see Ohno-sensei sporting a warm, yet hurtful look. All these years, the man burdened it all alone. And Sho was sure that the guilt was eating him away at knowing the things Ninomiya had done, but was unable to do a thing to change that. Sho know the man as an easy-going and kind person, but now- all Sho could see in his eyes is regret. Because he thought that he was the one who turned his own bestfriend into a monster..  
  
“Don’t worry about your mark. You’ve given it your best. I will do something about it to make sure you won’t have to repeat the subject.” Ohno-sensei told him after a while, his usual smile on his face. “You may leave now, Sakurai-kun.”  
  
Sho was unsure when he stood from his seat. But when he turned at Matsumoto-sensei and the man gave him a nod, Sho decided that it’s best for him to leave for the time being.  
  
“Thank you so much for your consideration, Sensei. I really appreciate it.”  
  
Sho gave the two men one last bow before leaving the room.  
  
***  
  
“Way to go, Satoshi.” Jun suddenly said, and Satoshi stared at him in wonder. “Just like you, I am as guilty as Nino, if not more guilty, when I decided to leave that day.”  
  
Jun made his way toward the couch and plopped himself down on it.  
  
“I only made the study abroad offer an excuse to run away from you and Nino. Because the look on Nino’s eyes that day was enough for me to know that he’s a helpless case and I don’t want to be a part of whatever he’s plotting inside his mind. That’s why I ran away, in hope that you- the one closest to Nino, can do something about him.” Jun pulled out a cigarette from inside his pocket, lighting it before inhaling deep. “But when I returned and I met you again, I realized just how much of a shit I had left you that day. I realized that I should have stayed and we both might do something to help Nino. But you didn’t say a thing about Nino, and despite knowing everything too, I was too afraid to be accused at so I decided to play along.”  
  
Jun looked out of the window, watching the students strolling around the small park of the campus.  
  
“I was surprised that Aiba is one of Nino’s men though. He just didn’t look like the person Nino will pick in his troupe.” Jun said as he exhaled.  
  
“It’s because he encountered Sakurai-kun mid-way.” Satoshi prompted as he join Jun on the couch. “The boy had change the darkness within Aiba-kun completely. He had achieved the one thing we failed to do.”  
  
“Yeah.” Jun replied curtly as he focused his gaze on the crowd by the other side of the wall with Satoshi looking at the same scenery.  
  
“Let’s visit Nino, Jun.” Satoshi said at last. “Let’s visit him and retry.”  
  
Jun turned his head to look at Satoshi’s face properly. A sad yet determined look on his face. A smile slowly crept it’s way on Jun’s face as he see hope dancing in Satoshi’s eyes.  
  
“Yeah.” He agreed. “Because it’s never too late to fix everything.”


	9. Chapter 9

Kazama has just finished his visit when Sho came, and they exchanged small greetings before Kazama excused himself. Sho watched his back until it disappeared before making his entry to Masaki’s ward.  
  
The tall man hasn’t changed at all over the year. Except for the now overgrown hair and the paler features. Sho traced his fingers on Masaki’s cold hand, scrunitizing his nails with a frown at seeing that they had grown again. He asked for a nail-clipper to a passing nurse who smiled knowingly at him before handing him the said item a moment later. Sho gave her a curt thanks before working on Masaki’s nails, clipping them carefully with tender care.  
  
It’s thirty minutes later when Sho get up from his seat, after so much staring at the sleeping man, to take his leave for the day.  
  
“I will return tomorrow, Masaki.” Sho whispered softly to Masaki’s ears, suppressed tears catching up on him. “Please wake up soon. We miss you.” Sho almost choked on his words. “I miss you. When you wake up, let’s go to that amusement park, okay ? The free tickets has expired, but I promise I will treat you there.”  
  
Sho planted a gentle kiss on Masaki’s forehead, caressing his hair one last time, before he walked out. He gave a bow to the attending nurse who come to check on Masaki just as he was about leave.  
  
Sho hasn’t even take five steps when he heard a squeal from the nurse he just passed by and he immediately rushed back to where Masaki is. In his panicked state, he managed to stop the woman to ask what’s happening when she said,  
  
“Aiba-san opened his eyes !”  
  
And when Sho cast a look at Masaki’s figure, he was met with a pair of chocolate eyes he longed to see finally open.  
  
***  
  
“We cannot say for sure as of now, since Aiba-san was unconscious for a very long time, but at the very least, we found his vital functions just fine. We will commence further test when Aiba-san has regained his full consciousness.” The doctor explained as soon as he’s done with the check-up.  
  
“You mean he has yet to regain his full consciousness now ?” Sho asked, face full with concern.  
  
The man nodded his head.  
  
“Aiba-san might have opened his eyes, but his brain was in a deep sleep for a year, so it will take sometimes before his brain will function properly again. It is better if we don’t push him though. Let him do things in his own pace.” The doctor gave him a smile. “Would you like to see him again ? But please don’t be surprised if he doesn’t recognize you or even won’t talk to you. His brain needed time to process things, and even talking will be difficult after the long sleep.”  
  
“Please allow me to see him !” Sho almost yelled, and the man only chuckled at him.  
  
“Please help yourself. But I advise you to not stay too long. Aiba-san still need his rest.” The man gave a bow before leaving.  
  
Sho took a deep breath before he slides through the veil which separated him from Masaki. There, he found the man staring at nothing in the ceiling. Masaki seemed to acknowledged his presence though, because he turned to look at Sho when Sho came closer. Those two brown orbs seemed dull as Sho stared at Masaki’s questioning eyes, until they widened and it might have been Sho’s imagination, but he saw light coming back to those two eyes.  
  
“Sho-chan ?”  
  
How Sho missed that voice who always called him by that scandalous yet endearing nickname. Before he could stop himself, Sho found himself crying as things finally settled now. Masaki is awake now. Masaki is awake now, and he’s okay. Masaki is awake now, and he _remembers_ Sho.  
  
“Masaki...” Sho wailed as he buried his face on the taller guy’s lap who seemed to be confused by his sudden burst of emotion.  
  
“Sho-chan ?” Masaki called again, and Sho cried harder.  
  
“Welcome back, Masaki.” Sho said in between his sobs. “Welcome back.”  
  
***  
  
It took Masaki two days to speak words other than ‘Sho-chan’, and it took him a week to move his arms and legs not so awkwardly. He has yet to be able to walk again, but Sho is all grinning to know that Masaki is okay. That’s what it matters, Sho told himself.  
  
But one day, when his Uncle suddenly came into Masaki’s ward (a private one this time, with proper wall to separate Masaki and the other patients), realization came back at Sho that the case has yet to be closed. His Uncle didn’t push more than Masaki is willing to say himself, offering him smiles and the many ‘Get well soon’ regards instead, but Sho know he will start asking when Masaki has stabilized enough.  
  
That’s why it surprised Sho, and perhaps even Sho’s Uncle as well, when Masaki told them that he has prepared himself for this day, and thus start telling them his stories. After one hour later, Masaki is stopped by the doctor who told him that visiting hour is over and that it’s time for Masaki’s routine check-up.  
  
Masaki told Sho’s Uncle to return tomorrow so he could finish his testiment, and so when tomorrow comes, Sho is too eager that he actually came half an hour earlier than visiting hour. Fortunately for him, the nurse has known him all to well so she let him enter Masaki’s room before the time.  
  
The man smiled as he recognized Sho’s face by the doorway, calling out a sweet ‘Sho-chan !’ while signaling him to come inside already. Masaki quickly blabbered about his morning in the hospital, whining about how he wants to go back already in which Sho just chuckled and told him to not rush things up.  
  
Thirty minutes or over later, Sho’s Uncle comes as promised, and Masaki resumed his story. The other day, Masaki started at how he and his family were captured and tortured in a small cave Masaki didn’t even want to remember. He stopped his story when Ninomiya found and saved him from that cell and took care of him under his wing, as if he were his own son.  
  
Masaki continued from where he left off yesterday and told both Sho and his Uncle on how Ninomiya trained him for a reason he has yet to know when he’s ten years old. At age thirteen, he was shown a scene where one of Ninomiya’s man killed a person brutally, right in front of his eyes. It was then when Ninomiya explained the purpose of their existence, that is to erase one being who is deemed as darkness which stained this world. Masaki did his first killing when he’s fourteen, and he confessed how the guilt is killing him. Ninomiya told him then, that he could erase someone without having the need to touch them at all, and that is by feeding them with words which will eventually brought their victims to their end themselves.  
  
Masaki confessed that he believed in those beliefs Ninomiya told him about. Until Ninomiya enrolled him to a high school and Masaki began his new life as another persona. From his school life, Masaki learnt to view the world from a different perspective –he came to know that life is not all black and grey like Ninomiya always told him. But he was confused at what to do, because he can’t just simply leave Ninomiya and start anew. As years passed by and Masaki adapted to the outer world more and more, his doubts toward the things he has been doing under Ninomiya’s order grew. He tried defying Ninomiya once, only to receive harsh punishment later on. And from then on he learnt to obey Ninomiya without fail, eventhough the guilt of having someone’s life died before him is killing him inside.  
  
One day though, when Ninomiya told him to erase Matsuoka, Masaki can’t bring himself to do so. In the end, instead of having Matsuoka killed himself as planned, Masaki broke down in front of him. The older man had pitied him, and after figuring that Masaki is having a fever, he offered Masaki a ride home. That’s why, the next morning when Sho’s Uncle came and announced Matsuoka’s death, Masaki was beyond surprised. He couldn’t help but to blame himself for what had happened towards the older man. Masaki had seen Matsuoka as his own brother, so the news had been quite a shock.  
  
It was then when Masaki decided that he won’t let Ninomiya have his own ways any longer. Masaki began to defy Ninomiya’s orders behind his back, ignoring the punishments he might received later. Ninomiya might have sniffed his doing, and that’s why one day, he invited Masaki to his mansion, and told him not to leave until he said so. Masaki knew that he was doomed the moment Ninomiya gave that order, but he never expected Ninomiya to used Masaki’s sudden disappearance to lull Sho into his trap. He had been confined inside his room for days, until one afternoon, Ninomiya’s private guard came and knocked him off.  
  
“And you know the rest.” Masaki finished his story with a tired sigh. “I’ve told you everything I know. I have no regret.”  
  
Sho looked up and see Masaki flashing a meaningful smile at them. It was Sho’s assumption, but perhaps what Masaki meant by his last words was that he will accept every punishments for his actions.  
  
“I see.” His Uncle said after a while, hands putting back his notes inside his pocket. “So you’re saying that everything you did were under Ninomiya’s order, right ?”  
  
“Yes.” Masaki consented.  
  
“Very well, then.” Sho’s Uncle smiled as he stood up. “I will take my leave then. I will tell you later on about this, okay ? Get well soon, Masaki-kun.”  
  
Masaki only nodded his head as he let the man ruffled his hair before leaving.  
  
“Sho-chan ? You’re staying ?” He asked after a while, pointing his gaze at Sho fully now.  
  
“I’ll stay some more.” Sho told him softly, a small smile grazing his lips. “I will wait here until you fall asleep, Masaki.”  
  
The taller boy smiled gratefully, knowing full well that Sho stayed because he _knows_ that Masaki had wanted him to stay, to give him assurance that everything will be okay by staying by his side. And so without further words, Masaki closed his eyes.  
  
“ _Oyasumi_ , Sho-chan.”  
  
***  
  
Sho is now walking through the all too familiar hallway, an old jacket on his hands, and a wide grin on his face. He took the turn before entering the room where someone is already waiting for him, a dreamy look on his face as he stared out of the window.  
  
“Masaki.” Sho called out, and grinned wider as the man turned to face him with that smile he adore.  
  
“Sho-chan !” Masaki called back excitingly as he almost jumped from his seat and approach Sho. “You come !”  
  
“Of course I’d come.” Sho said with a chuckle, and for a moment, the both of them said nothing as they felt content just by staring at each other.   
  
It’d been ten years after that fateful day. Ten years since Masaki walked out of their shared-apartment right after he was released from the hospital, muttering to Sho to take care of things while he’s away. Ten years since Masaki has to undergo his prison sentence. Ten long years, and yet Masaki hasn’t changed at all. For all Sho knows, Masaki is still the bright, pushy and giggly Masaki he adored.  
  
“Are you ready to go home ?” Sho said after a while, the jacket he’s holding outheld for Masaki to take.  
  
Sho could see Masaki tearing up at seeing the fabric before taking the jacket and held it close.  
  
“Yeah. Let’s go home, Sho-chan.”


End file.
